No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Randomize
