the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
