I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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