no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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