We're like a lot better than the average bears
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the day after is always just damage control
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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