just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
