But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
