well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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