Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
