this beer tastes like vomit already
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
