if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
