She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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