u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
