nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
