You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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