Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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