You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
