yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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