were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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