im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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