you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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