dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
