Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize