its not stalking. its research.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
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It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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