hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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