I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
