i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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