I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
