it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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