i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
