Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Do you remember whose house we're in?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
