she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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