Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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