my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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