no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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