"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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