I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Randomize
