I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize