i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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