I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
