there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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