I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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