You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
