Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize