i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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