The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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