I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
