yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
