omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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