In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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