I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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