The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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