Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
worst night to have a conscience
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
