you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
