Im at strip club and am horny
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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