i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
