Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
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