how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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